"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
What does that mean exactly, "besetting sin?" To me it means "I be setting on a sin." Setting, or sitting, like a chicken on a handful of plastic eggs hoping that I'm going to get something for my effort.
Yeah, I'm going to get something alright... I'll get a big disappointment. Just like that chicken when nothing hatches.
Sitting on a sin--that thing I just don't want to let go of, that big no-no that i keep returning to time and again--is just plain stupid. It's harmful. It's disgraceful.
But worst of all, it's disappointing to my Father.
I'm not going to get into the besetting sin that I keep running back to like that proverbial dog to the vomit (gross!). It doesn't matter what the sin is, whether it's "big" in human terms (no, I didn't murder my hubby and bury him in the north 40, despite the fact that he refuses to throw any trash into the waste bin grrrr), or if it's a "small" thing (again in human terms), like gossip or pride.
Daddy only sees disobedience.
After all HE'S done for me, after all HE'S given to me, after all the times HE'S forgiven me and let me run back to His arms... when I return to the sin, it's like that four-year-old who tells their parents "I hate you."
So today... once again... I'm repenting. I'm turning away. I'm begging forgiveness. I'm weeping in shame. I'm breaking my heart.
Thank You, Father, for Your unending mercies and truly amazing grace. I'm a wreck and I seem to keep forgetting that I'm YOUR child, daughter of the Most High. Please remind me of this. I want to make You proud.