I'm super frustrated. After months of tending seedlings in the house--watering, fertilizing, treating (organically) for pests, I finally got around to planting them in my newly formed garden that my husband lovingly made for me. And when I say "lovingly made," the man went far above and beyond to put it together so I could grow veggies. My tiny little plants that had grown so well would finally be able to stretch their wings...er, roots.
...but then I murdered them.
Okay, so maybe it wasn't my fault. I mean, I carefully planted the little darlings, watered them gently, talked to them. (Admission: I did have a major tantrum when I dropped the box and dumped the plants out on the ground. That *might* have had something to do with their demise. Ahem.) Maybe there were other forces at work here.
Yeah, 100º worth of forces.
Apparently, it's just too danged hot here to garden. This makes me sad. I really want to grow our own veggies, mostly because I just don't trust what we get in the stores. Between the pesticides, questionable fertilizers, and chemicals they spray to make the produce ripen/not ripen/retain color, I'm just sort of afraid of what we're putting in our bodies.
At least when I grow it myself, I know just cow and chicken poop was used (which is gross enough).
But there's also the fact that I want to save some money on the expensive store-bought produce. The hubs and I have been following a ketogenic diet since October, and that means lots of fresh veggies. (By the way--if you want to lose weight, or just feel better, like lowered blood pressure and controlled blood sugar, you should check it out! We follow a low-carb 20 grams or less a day diet and feel great! Plus between the two of us, we've lost over 60 pounds!)
So, to say I'm disappointed that my garden isn't doing what a garden is supposed to do is an understatement.
Like I said, it's just too stinkin' hot here. Water evaporates before it hits the ground. The humidity level is so low that my skin actually cracks. "It's a dry heat," they say. Yeah, so is a pizza oven.
But the garden fiasco got me to thinking--are we the same way? Are we not growing because it's "too hot?" Are we stagnating in our walk with the Lord because we're just too close to the fire?
I think so.
If we choose to hug those sins (see my blog post about "Besetting Sins"), if we refuse to turn away from them and turn to our Savior, then I think we're just too close to the "fire" (Hell itself!) to grow.
God tends His garden (us!) well, much better than I ever tended my little seedlings. He gives us cool water to drink (living water), the right food (His word), He prunes us of the dead branches that are weighing us down, and when we're "ripe" He sends us out to do what we're supposed to do--bring others to the garden!
But, unlike my little seedlings that had to rely on me to plant them where I did, God gives His "plants" the ability to move about of their own free volition. We can go anywhere we want--up on the hill, down in the valley, under the shade of the trees... or right next to the fire.
It's near the heat of that fire that we start to wilt. The water no longer cools us. The food no longer gives us sustenance. We don't ripen. We don't thrive.
And if we stay near that fire for long enough, we don't survive.
I don't want to be a sad, wilted, nearly dead plant. I want to grow deep roots right in the center of God's garden, where I'm watered and fed and lovingly tended to. Where I can turn into a productive plant that "bears much fruit"--good fruit--and brings others to the garden.
Because, not only is that fire hot... it's deadly.